Archives
Cigars are getting expensive...
Christmas eve, my day wasn’t going to be a busy one.
I brought a few nice Monte-Cristo White cigars to work with me in hopes of enjoying them with my squad and relaxing.
1030AM rolled around and everyone was doing their own thing, so I fired up one of my cigars, which now happen to cost $11.50. Sitting in my car with the windows down, the breeze was blowing through on this cool day, the sun was out without a cloud in sight.
Just an awesome day.
BEEP!!!! ATTENTION ALL UNITS, BURGLARY IN PROGRESS AT XXX NE XX AVE! TWO BLACK MALES INSIDE THE ADDRESS. ONE WEARING A YELLOW SHIRT WITH BLACK SHORTS AND THE OTHER WEARING A BLACK SHIRT WITH WHITE SHORTS.
Really? Seriously? I was right around the corner and not even 5 minutes into my cigar.
I drove over to the address and was the second guy to arrive on scene. The first cop was pointing north and yelled, “They went that way!”, so I moseyed on over that way.
Sure as hell, a block north, I saw 4 black males walking west bound about 4 blocks west of me. Two happened to be matching, so I started driving that way and got on the main channel, advising the dispatcher of what I saw.
A block away from them, another unmarked detective got behind me and we’d go ahead and stop them together.
Clenching my newly lit cigar in my teeth, I stopped directly behind them and grunted, “Gentlemen, lay down”.
The two on the left looked at me and threw themselves on the floor, the other two debated it for a second but as I approached them, they decided to take off running.
Damn it.
I grabbed my radio in my left hand and chased after them. They ran northwest through a backyard and I started advising through clenched teeth as there was no way in hell I was going to drop that cigar. We’re in a recession.
Holding down the mic on the radio, I said, “Alright, we’re coming up to a small fence, one second”. I hopped the fence jumping sideways using my right hand.
These kids kept looking back at me.
Another fence, “Now we’re coming up to a small white fence, still in the backyards, one second”. Like the first fence, no problem.
Then I saw the 4 foot spiked iron fence, “Damn it, we’re coming up on a blue spiked fence”. I jumped extra hard as to not catch the spikes, cigar still in place.
We ran across a street and out of all of the houses to run into, they ran into the Church conversion home.
Come on.
Entering the building I used my free right hand and drew my sidearm, “Police! Get down, hands up!”. No response, then I heard the rear door hit the outside wall. These kids weren’t going to stop running away from me. Grrr..
So I continued outside of the church and was met with a large 6 foot fence. I saw one jump west bound and one jump north bound.
Screw it.
“Dispatch, we cleared the church on the west side and theres a fence I’m just not getting over. I need perimeter points setup 2 by 2 from my current location”.
The points were filled and K9 / Aviation arrived.
I walked back to my car, cigar still lit. My LT was there.
“Hey Dash, did you seriously just chase those kids with that stogy in your mouth?”
“Well, Yea. That a problem LT?”
“No no man, do you have another?”
So I opened up my Humidor and gave it to him.
Later we’d find out that the 4 kids had committed 4 burglaries in that little section of town in the last 2 hours and they confessed to several more. The two that K9 found in the field just west of the church keep repeated, “Don’t put me near that white guy, he’s nuts, don’t”.
Something about a big white guy with a cigar spooked these kids, so now of course my squad mates are making all of the jokes you could think of, but at the end of the day, I wasn’t going to just let $11.50 burn on the side of the road.
Merry Christmas.
Comments