Archives
People just can't follow common sense anymore.
Several weeks ago I saw a guy and his son driving down the sidewalk, both on ATVs (All terrain vehicles).
He’s 45ish and his son is 10 years old..
I told him that it’s arrestable to ride those ATVs on the street and that he should probably go back home before another Cop sees him and takes a different course of action then I was taking.
Well, today I just finished checking into service and was en route to a nearby Gas station to pickup something to drink before my squad started working a ‘box’ when I saw him and his son again.
Both driving their ATVs in the road way in rush hour traffic at a high rate of speed.
I couldn’t believe it.
They hit a red light and I pulled them over.
I was going to tell him to get off the road and go back home but before I could get a word out he started yelling, “Man! Stop harassing me mother fu…”
Wrong answer.
I got out of my car, walked over to him and snatched him right off that ATV. I put him on the back of the car and cuffed him, finally placing him into my car.
His son, still very much 10 years old had no idea what was going on. To him I was the big bad man arresting daddy.
I called another squad mate by and he sat the kid in his passenger seat and called ‘mom’ to come pick him up.
Dad, in the back of my car was still cursing and screaming.
Me : “Hey, no reason to be all offensive. I told you before not to put your child on an ATV and now you not only endanger his life by having him drive around the streets in rush hour traffic but you’re also having him break the law because he has no license, registration or insurance and you are setting a bad example.”
Him : “Man, whatchu chargin me with Boss?”
Boss is a term used by people in jail to sound respectful but really stands for something different. Boss backwards, SSOB = Sorry son ofa bitch.
Me : “First off, don’t call me Boss. Secondly, you’re being charged with Child endangerment, 3rd degree felony.”
Him : “What the hell is that? Child endangerment? He wasn’t in no danger! His ATV has working brakes today”
… today.
I had my Sergeant come by and sign the Arrest Affidavit and he started laughing. He said to me, “You’re the only guy I know that finds stuff to arrest people for that no one knows is even a law.”
Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, but its a thing nonetheless.
Later on that day a call went out reference a guy sexually assaulting a woman.
The primary unit with the call was a normal road unit and since my squad and I were in the area we decided to help out and see what was up.
We got there and it was at a beauty salon with a woman inside. No sign of the guy.
Me : “Howdy! Whats going on in here?”
Lady : “Man that guy came in here while I was washing my hair. You see I was bending over the sink and he just walked up behind me and started rubbing his thing in my ass crack. I didn’t stop him because my hair wasn’t washed out yet. Then he reached around the front of my chest and grabbed my boobs saying ‘titties titties big titties’ and then he ran off..”
What the…
Me : “Let me get this straight, a random guy walked in here, started humping you from behind while you were over the sink washing your hair, but you didn’t stop him because you didn’t want to not finish rinsing your hair and the last straw was him shacking your boobs?”
Lady : “Yea thats pretty much it.”
… You have to be kidding me. Is this chick for real?
Me : “Alright, what did he look like?”
Lady : “He was one of those Talibani type guys. You know the ones. He didn’t have a turban but he’s one of those a-rabs. He was wearing a blue shirt and blue jeans and ran off outside. I didn’t see where he went.”
Me : “No problem, stay here, we’ll go look for him.”
A short area canvas later we found him 3 blocks away. Sure enough, he just got here from Jordan and was a few shades of color away from being a full blown ‘Borat’.
We arrested him and gave him to the primary unit.
We’ve had 4 shootings in the past 2 days and we know who they are so we spent the rest of the searching for the gang members and their cars. They didn’t show up tonight at their usual spots so we’re gonna try and nab them tomorrow.
Comments